“No sé quién soy” (“I do not know who I am”) by Miriam Rodríguez, contributed by Isabel Moreno Rivas (2025)
Hoy, no sé muy bien
Por qué aparece tu nombre escrito en la pared
Me miré
En ese espejo que veo una vida que ya olvidé
Voy perdiendo parte de mi ser
No puedo ya reconocer
Quién forma parte del ayer
¿Por qué? Preguntas, no sé responder
Me miro en fotos otra vez
Y ya no sé quién soy
No sé quién soy
Qué difícil es
Ganar batallas a un enemigo que no puedes ver
Como un ladrón que se escapó
Vino a rorbarte, sin preguntarte, y vacía te dejó
Voy perdiendo parte de mi ser
No puedo ya reconocer
Quién forma parte del ayer
¿Por qué? Preguntas, no sé responder
Me miro en fotos, otra vez
Y ya no sé quién soy
No sé quién soy
Y ahora me encuentro en medio de la nada
Se empañan todas las ventanas
No puedo ver a dónde voy
Duele alejarse, ayúdame
Voy perdiendo parte de mi ser
No puedo ya reconocer
Quién forma parte del ayer
¿Por qué? Preguntas, no sé responder
Me miro en fotos, otra vez
Y ya no sé quién soy
No sé quién soy.
Today, I don't know very well why your name is written on the wall
I looked at myself in a mirror where I see a life that I already forgot
I'm losing parts of myself
I can no longer recognize
Who is part of my past
Why? You ask, I don't know how to answer
I look at myself in photos again
And I don't know who I am anymore
I don't know who I am
It is so difficult to win battles against an enemy you can't see
Like a thief that got away
He came to steal you, without asking you, and left you empty
I'm losing parts of myself I can no longer recognize
Who is part of my past
Why? You asked, I don't know how to answer
I look at myself in photos, again
And I don't know who I am anymore I don't know who I am
And now I find myself in the middle of nowhere
All the windows fog up I can't see where I'm going
It hurts to walk away, help me
I'm losing part of myself
I can no longer recognize
Who is part of my past
Why? You asked, I don’t know how to answer
I look at myself in photos, again
And I don't know who I am anymore
I don't know who I am
I don’t know who I am
This song is written from the perspective of an Alzheimer’s patient who feels as though they are losing themselves. Two of my relatives suffer from Alzheimer’s, but before taking this class, I never reflected on how this illness is an ambiguous loss. I used to think that, to grieve and mourn someone, a death had to occur, but I have realized that not only have I been grieving my relatives all this time without realizing it, but also the patients mourn themselves and the lives they are losing. This song reminded me of the book we read in class, Still Alice, by Lisa Genova. Furthermore, the video clip of this song shows how the family of the patient deals with the illness and, as a relative of two patients myself, I found it very beautiful how the metaphor Miriam Rodríguez uses for representing Alzheimer’s is trying to complete a puzzle of your life when it has missing pieces.