Resources for Loss

"Change of Address" by Dónall Dempsey, contributed by Angela Mei (2023)

You didn’t die
you just changed shape

became invisible
to the naked eye

became this grief

it’s sharpness
more real

than your presence was

before you were separate to me
entire to yourself

now you are
a part of me

you are inside my self

I call you
by your new name

‘Grief…Grief! ‘

although I still call you


"Change of Address" is a poem by Dónall Dempsey, an Irish poet born in 1956. Dempsey's poems were inspired by his own life experiences and he often wrote on love, death, and the innocence in children. I chose this poem for Scalar because this poem highlights how loss affects the bereaved. Feelings and experiences from loss are difficult  - this poem beautifully captures the pain associated with grief. We often say that "the deceased are always with us". This poem expands on this idea, highlighting how the deceased becomes part of the bereaved, taking form as grief. 

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