Resources for Loss

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg, contributed by Julia Kim (2025)

Sheryl Sandberg’s memoir Option B is a book that would be extremely helpful to anyone experiencing grief. Sandberg wrote this book following the sudden death of her husband, Dave Goldberg. I think that the book’s title is the most meaningful part of it. It comes from a quote said to her by her friend when there was a father–child event at her children’s school several weeks after her husband died: “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of Option B.” This notion of “Option B” reflects the stage of “making meaning” that is essential to anyone coping with grief, especially long-term. While many of the lessons that Sandberg offers in the book are not particularly profound, such as reminders that it does get better and that there can still be moments of joy, I think that the book’s main message and reminder of the importance of making meaning following a loss is invaluable in its simplicity. In the abundance of texts and literature about different ways to cope following a loss, many of which can be complicated and require some analytical thought (especially in the case of a work of art or music), the simple phrase “Option B” is a poignant inspiration to accept and make meaning of a loss. In addition, the book provides a good reminder for non-grieving readers of the universality of death. Although Sheryl Sandberg lives a seemingly glamorous life as the former COO of Facebook and has often been criticized for her privileged position and corporate feminism, her vulnerability and tragedy remind readers that death and grief are truly universal experiences, regardless of how adversity-immune some may appear to be. She also litters her book with tips for how to support those who are grieving, such as reframing the question “How are you doing?” to “How are you doing today?” and allowing individuals the choice to continue their responsibilities instead of assuming they should want to be rid of all obligations. Thus, while her book and perspective are certainly not without fault, her privileged position offers a unique and powerful reminder to approach those grieving with empathy, regardless of their condition.

 

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