If someone had told me two years ago when I went through sorority recruitment as a freshman that I would one day become the president of one of these groups, I would never have believed them. I went to an all-girls school for thirteen years before Harvard where I was surrounded by amazing female role models and got a taste for what a community of strong women feels like. In many ways, that experience was part of the reason why I personally sought out a sorority in college. But my school was also a really competitive place with a very narrow definition of success that I struggled with coming to terms with and left me with a lot of self-doubt around the kind of student and leader I was capable of being.

The first time I walked into a room, looked around and felt that sinking feeling that no matter what I did I wouldn’t be able to keep up with or compete with the people around me, I was 8 years old. And for the majority of the next ten years, not a day would go by when I wouldn’t walk into school, the same building every day, and have a part of me feel that weight of thinking - I wasn't good enough. I learned really young what it feels like to fail and learned how to be resilient and not fear taking risks. But even with that, my adjustment to Harvard had its ups and downs, and a lot of times between the competitive atmosphere of classes and comps it was hard to feel like I was finding my niche.

I joined Theta looking to meet new girls and broaden my circle of friends, and two years later, I can confidently say it is one of the best decisions I have made in college. Through Theta, I found a group of incredible women who inspire me every day with their support for one another, ambition to make a difference in the world around them and success in all they do. In the Zeta Xi chapter, I see my closest friends in college: women who I know will be an important part of the rest of my life, women who have enabled me to become a more confident, ambitious, better version of myself, and women who without Theta I probably never would have crossed paths with. 

One of the most instrumental moments in my college career and personal development happened my sophomore fall. Though now I consider her one of my best friends and despite being thousands of miles apart we still talk almost every day - when Pauline, the president at the time, texted me about running for a board position, I definitely still thought of myself as a new member and her as someone I looked up to from afar. Even after one semester, Theta had already grown to be such an invaluable part of my college experience, and as I thought about taking on a leadership position in an organization I cared so much - I realized that this was not a responsibility I would take lightly, and a number of my pre-college insecurities around my abilities came flooding back.

If this was something I was going to take on, I wanted to make sure that I could do everything that needed to be done. So, I took the leap of faith and reached out to Pauline - taking off the mask of confidence that most of us at Harvard know all too well and put all my insecurities and vulnerabilities on the line, explaining why I was really apprehensive about taking on certain responsibilities.

We decided to meet up to talk about different positions, and I don’t even know what exactly I was expecting, but there was definitely a part of me that was a bit nervous about how she might respond to my fears. However, within the first 30 seconds of sitting down for coffee – I immediately felt at ease. Despite our two-year age difference and having known each other for only a few months, she made me feel comfortable sharing and opening up about so many things I rarely talk about. She listened and cared – thoughtful in trying to see and understand my point of view, validating my fears, but also respectful that it's impossible to ever fully understand someone else's situation.

In response, she didn’t just reassure me on a theoretical, emotional level, but she also suggested practical steps of how I could overcome potential challenges in realistic, tangible ways. She took the time to go through every single role, talking through the detailed responsibilities of every position so that I could have a better understanding of what I needed to be able to do. She also shared with me her own experiences of how the women in Theta had helped her through hard times and how their unconditional support helped her confidence grow in so many ways. Ultimately, she helped me understand how with a community like Theta having my back, there was very little I wasn’t capable of doing and that she would always be there to help me navigate the unfamiliar.

This is just one moment in my story, but time and time again, the members of the Zeta Xi chapter have supported and pushed me. I know that I can lead fearlessly and confidently because I am surrounded by women who are ready and willing to help me when I need and who I know will be there to catch me if I ever fall. My experiences with Theta continuously reaffirm why I believe so strongly in the unique value of women’s organizations to empower and support.

Because of Theta, I have become more secure in voicing my beliefs and opinions and have come to realize how my experiences and strengths can make an impact on others. Theta has not only given me the confidence to lead but has also inspired me to be more vocal in speaking out and taking ownership of my beliefs surrounding the importance of women’s organizations in our world today.

A quote that I found and love from a New York Times opinion piece in December discusses how “American women’s activism has historically taken two forms. One is an expression of direct anger at the ways individual men use and abuse us... The other form is less spectacular but as essential: It’s fighting the ways the world is structurally engineered against women. Tied to that fight is the difficult and ambiguous labor of building an equitable system within which women have the wherewithal and power to lead full lives.”

I believe that women’s organizations like Theta have a key role to play in this process and that especially in a world where barriers to success, institutional and otherwise, persist for women and at a time when women are increasingly standing up to the discrimination and sexism they experience every day – it is more important than ever to protect spaces that enable women to empower one another to stand up, speak out and affirm each other.

However, Harvard’s policy on single-gender social organizations sanctions women who choose to be a part of women’s organizations. While I inherently believe that all-women's groups are valuable in our society and contribute positively to Harvard, I also believe that no woman should ever have to choose between having an empowering community of women like the ones found in the all-female organizations I am apart of and the myriad opportunities that exist in the Harvard community as a whole. In light of the December 2017 Corporation vote, my responsibility is to be accountable for not only the chapter in the present, but also to think about the future of my organization. Looking ahead, my commitment is to preserve as much of the integrity of my organization and the support network it currently provides for so many, while guaranteeing that no current or future member will be impacted by Harvard's policy on social organizations. Enabling and supporting women to be leaders is central to my organization's mission, and the only way to stay true to our core values is to change to be in compliance with this policy.