"Epitaph" by Merrit Malloy, contributed by Owen Ebose (2025)
My contribution is this 1985 poem by author Merrit Malloy. Some years ago I came across it (I cannot remember where) and the words "look for me in the people I've known or loved" have stuck with me ever since. There is so much to say about it. Malloy begins by asking us to give away what's left of her after she has died. What exactly is left of someone after their death? What is there to give away? The next stanza offers an answer: love. Our love for those who have left us remains, and we can give it to those who remain by our side. We can love the departed by loving the world. The notion that we exchange pieces of ourselves with those whom we know and love is truly comforting—it means that our loved ones live on and can be found in us even after they pass. It also means that we have a responsibility to live and be happy, for the sake of those that we carry inside of us. I will add a final word about the title: Malloy calling her piece "Epitaph" suggests that these are the words that she would want on her tombstone. Family members visiting her grave would be met with the call: go on out and let me live through your eyes.
Epitaph
by Merrit Malloy
When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.